The day Toronto FC signed Ecuadorian centerback Geovanny Caicedo, I decided to celebrate with a burrito, because ... why not? Caicedo, along with his fellow teammate and compatriot Joao Plata, will be vital figures for the Reds roster in 2012. Add to the fact that Eric Avila found himself a fellow Gaucho to compete with in Luis Silva, and the call of the Californian burrito was overwhelming – but where to find it?

Attending Ryerson University has its benefits, of course, but nothing is more satisfying than being surrounded by an array of cultural restaurants on the cheap. One such delicacy is Chipotle Mexican Grill, a fine establishment serving up burritos of the highest quality that fast food can offer.

Chipotle is a Californian establishment with Mexican roots, perfect for the sort of ritualistic, symbolic TFC burrito I was craving. So, after surviving what can only be described as “The World’s Most Boring Lecture,” I headed over to this fancy burrito stand and celebrated our offseason acquisitions.

Why a burrito, you may be asking me? Because, dear reader, Toronto FC’s newest acquisitions perform exactly like a well-made burrito! 

See, a good burrito is comprised of five main ingredients: you start with a serving of beans, that give the burrito bulk; you add veggies and cheese to keep things fresh; meat is key as well, because without the meat, you’ve got a veggie wrap; you’ve got the hot sauce, the heat that your mouth won’t let you forget; and finally, you’ve got the actual dough, a corn flour tortilla, keeping everything wrapped up.

Geovanny Caicedo is the heaping serving of beans in the Toronto FC burrito. He adds depth and bulk in an otherwise thin centerback spot. Caicedo’s physical stature and presence gives Toronto FC a unique option in the number 3 spot. He is a no-nonsense kind of defender who does his job and does it well. Without Caicedo in the backline, the whole system feels lacking.

Who else could be the lettuce, tomatoes and cheddar cheese than Luis Silva, who has come into a midfield filled with defensive-minded, hardworking types and freshened things up for Toronto! A young draft pick with plenty to learn and plenty to offer, Silva provides an exciting attitude to an otherwise ordinary midfield. 

The meat of the team is Eric Avila, who has no problem cutting through thick-cut defenders and using his physical ability combined with killer instinct to move through the midfield and final third. He also possesses a goalscorer’s mentality.

Which player wearing red leaves a lasting, burning sensation? Fiery winger Joao Plata, of course! Plata has the ability to torture those who don’t like him, but absolutely thrill those who do. Ask anyone who detests hot sauce, and they’ll tell you that even a dab is enough to ruin a meal, yet ask someone who “puts that s--- on everything” and they can’t get enough. That sounds like Joao Plata to me – MLS opponents want to see him subbed off ASAP, while Toronto FC fans expect 90 minutes of spark and flare. 

Finally, the responsibility of tortilla falls on Miguel Aceval, who must wrap up (see what I did there?) the defensive line from the left back spot, making runs up the sides and sending curved crosses to Danny Koevermans and co. Covering the length of the field, Aceval’s contributions impact every position on the field, as players accommodate for his defensive or offensive plays.

In this regard, Toronto FC is now a burrito, which is, ultimately, the reason I decided to eat one at Chipotle. What started as a Dutch 4-3-3 has been infused with the free-form Latin style that MLS as a league seems to be heading toward. 

On a serious note, these players, especially Caicedo and Aceval, are going to be very different players than the kind that Toronto FC fans are used to. South American defenders are a different breed than their US counterparts – they are much more technical, much less physical, and are usually composed on the ball.

That’s not to say they’re twigs – Caicedo and Aceval have physical presence, sure, but they won’t be jumping on, around, and on top of forwards a la Andy Iro; they are much more technical, much stronger on their feet, making smart interceptions rather than committing dumb fouls. 

Let me tell you something about Mexican food – it takes a while to hit, but when it does, it hits hard. Ironically enough, defenders from South America are exactly the same.

Toronto FC have introduced a new flavour of player at BMO Field, but, on their own, hot sauce is cruel, tortillas are plain and lack flavour, lettuce, tomatoes and cheese make for a poor salad, meat is typical, and beans have an…unfortunate side effect.

It is together that these ingredients work well, and it’s exactly the same with Toronto FC’s newest acquisitions; they require time and chemistry before adapting to their new environment in MLS. Once they do, Aron Winter will be banking on the fact that their performances, too, adapt to the physical nature of MLS. 

It may be frustrating at first, and, if done incorrectly, it may cause incredibly undesirable consequences, but, when its done right, you are left satisfied and wanting another.

In this instance, I’m referring to both burritos and Toronto FC.


Sidenote: Please do not eat Joao Plata.